Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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