The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
