do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
