That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
