She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
