"it" just moved
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
