How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
