How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
