Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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