Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
