these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
