I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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