Umm I'm too high to move.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
