Yo dont text me then not text me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
