no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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