If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
