Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
