i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
