loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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