I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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