there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
