I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
