that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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