Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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