So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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