just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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