she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
