my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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