Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We don't watch enough power rangers
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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