I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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