i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
