I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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