I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
