and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
