I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
