check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
