She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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