They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
