fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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