Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
