Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
