4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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