saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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