sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am mentally ready for anal.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
