R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
