I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
