sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
