SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I want her autograph on my taint
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
