One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
