Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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