I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
